If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm wreslting contest... with his leg.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.