What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
Why should you never fart in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
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Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer?
Nerdvana.
How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
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How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared.
And that's the story.