Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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Chuck Norris lives in a all white house with all white furniture and all white carpet.
Why?
Dirt knows better.
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Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude.
He has a personality you can't handle.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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