Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.