How can you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen.
So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off.
So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown.
He got a boner, so that was the end of him.
Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him.
This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner.
So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Is it still rape if you yell 'Surprise!' first?
Vote:
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better.
Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!”
The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying.
A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face.
She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”
Harry is better at sex than anyone he know.
Now all he needs is a partner.
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?"
The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!"
To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
Vote: