Joke #3804

I make money the old-fashioned way. My salary is the same as it was ten years ago
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
Vote: has 58.77 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, food, insulting, money
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
Vote: has 87.44 % from 1867 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, stupid, money
You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: weed, money
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour? A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
Vote: has 63.48 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, money, travel
As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me." All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin." The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that." The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, death, doctor, money, life
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it’s worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. What does this monkey know? It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad. Nice, even I don’t know those things. On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money? I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!
Vote: has 81.38 % from 217 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, money, animal, programmer
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kitty, cat, money
I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and pushed me.
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money