Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
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