Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.