Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.