A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.
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E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
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You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Bill Gates dies and goes to God.
God says to him:
Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want.
God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches.
So he chooses hell.
After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there.
Bill says:
No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me?
Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
A: 1.
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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