When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm wreslting contest... with his leg.
Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard? He didn't, his beard grew him.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.