Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
I’ve invented a human computer. When he does a mistake he blames another computer.
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall? A: Captain's log.
Q: What is height of Craziness? A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist? A: Because it had Bluetooth.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.