Joke #3864

She’s like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.

When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.

What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’

A kid asks his mom "why his sisters' middle name is Paris?" "Because that's where we conceived her." "Next, I was going to ask why my middle name is Chevy but now I know why."

‘Its been a rough day. I put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’ Rodney Dangerfield

Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome

Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.

Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "

Q: What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second? A: First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.

Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.