There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team.
They drowned during spring training.
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Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common?
You don't look down.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?
"To get his Quarter back."
Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box?
High five!
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
"Waiter, these noodles are a bit crunchy."
Waiter: "That's because they're the chopsticks, sir."
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting.
I'm not getting up."
Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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