There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team," "That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team." "That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."
Did you hear about the small golf course? You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
Yo Momma's a bowling ball. She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter. Then she comes rolling back for more.
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch. Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground? Emile Heskey replied: "Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"