Joke #3880

Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow? Well, it’s tomorrow.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: money

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An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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has 79.48 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm looking for my dollar bill,' Max replied. 'I lost it down the road.' 'Why don't you look for it there?' 'Because the light's better here!'
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
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has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, stupid
If I won the Lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs. I’d make my boss’s life a living hell for a week or two first.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money
One night, Murphy was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Murphy and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Murphy put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through Murphy’s pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Murphy was 25 cents. The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Murphy why he had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents. "Was that all you wanted?" Murphy replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I’ve got in me shoe!"
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has 77.53 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: money, travel
We’re all self-made but only the rich and successful like to admit it.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money
Never borrow money from optimists – they always expect to get it back.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: money
OK, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
Once there was a magical mirror. When you told the thruth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever. One day three college girls went to the mirror. The red head said "I think I'm the smartest one." Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world. The brunette then said "I think I'm the prettiest one." Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good looking boyfriend , and a lot of money. Then the blonde said " I think...*poof*" Then she suddenly dissapearred forever
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has 83.87 % from 667 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, college, ginger, money
Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: divorce, money