Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
The reason why the desert is dry is because Chuck Norris got thirsty.
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.