An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
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Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website?
Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.
Q: What's brown and very bad for your dental health?
A: A baseball bat.
He was a colourful boxer.
Black and blue all over.
Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
The man says, "Will you buy booze?"
The bum says, "No."
The man says, "Will you gamble it away?"
The bum says, "No."
So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match.
I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog.
They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!"
But the man protested and replied:
"No, no, he isn't that clever.
I'm leading by three games to one!"
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately.
‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man.
‘Watch them!’ says his wife.
‘You already know how to play volleyball.’
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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