Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
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What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
"Darling."
Mama Bear and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand.
The judge says, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies.
"He beats me."
The judge then asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?"
"No," Baby Bear replies.
"She beats me too."
So the judge says, "So who do you want to live with?"
Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody."
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match.
I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day.
The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters.
Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Q: How does David Beckham change a light bulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
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Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl?
A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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