Joke #3950

When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
Vote: has 66.34 % from 117 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
Vote: has 40.53 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: poems, food, sex, dirty, time
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
Vote: has 68.02 % from 264 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
Vote: has 87.78 % from 1937 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, work, health, wife, sex
Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
Vote: has 73.45 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, chocolate
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”
Vote: has 80.22 % from 2516 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest. "It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man. "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest. "Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?" "Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?".
Vote: has 89.89 % from 3771 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, priest, beauty, god
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
Vote: has 74.29 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sex, marriage, husband, death
So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?" Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun." God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations." The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan." "Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp." Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?" "Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, heaven, geography, sex, kids
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
Vote: has 67.46 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, drug, sex