Joke #3958

He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore: marriage is an institution for the blind.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
My wife keeps telling me I shouldn’t pee in the bath – or if I really have to I should at least wait till she gets out.
Vote: has 89.50 % from 131 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
Vote: has 88.92 % from 212 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, anniversary, car, money
After nine years of marriage, a butcher's wife is tired of her husband's morning flatulence. She warns him that he'll fart his guts out. One night, the wife decides to put pig scraps in his pants, so he will think that he actually farted his guts out and stop the flatulence. The next morning, the husband goes to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he comes out and says, "You were right about me farting my guts out. But with the grace of the dear Lord and these two fingers. I got them back in there!"
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, marriage, wife, husband
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
Vote: has 55.19 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, college, math, age, wife
Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, time, marriage
A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening. She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends. The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her. It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings. So, she told her parents. They too saw him and liked him. They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage. But wanted her to make the first move. The next day, she went to him and said, Hi. I'm Jada. He said, Hi. I'm Smith. Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency. You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now. So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it. I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married. The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home's WIFI doesn't have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend.
Vote: has 79.48 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone, religious, marriage, technology
Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan when you're having sex? A: Let her catch you doing it.
Vote: has 50.97 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Marriages are made in Heaven – but then again, so are thunder and lightning.
Vote: has 70.35 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, marriage