Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow. The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold. So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.
Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.