Which way did the programmer go? He went data way!
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert. Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
Where's the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out all over the screen.
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.
What do computers eat when they get hungry? "Chips."
A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’ Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.