Why do men like having sex with the lights on?
It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
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Q: What's the difference between jelly and jam?
A: I can't jelly my dick a baby's throat.
Why are guys like microwavable meals?
They’re both done in 30 seconds.
Lesbians can also take Viagra.
They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
Q. Why don't little girls fart?
A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.
She was thrilled at the speed.
"If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.
"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.
The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
"Go and get help!" he cried.
"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"
"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."
Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station.
Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
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Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
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Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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