Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred. She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock. After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder. So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life. The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom. She seductively asks her husband, "Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?" The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies, "Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"
Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’