Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
What games do ants play with elephants? Squash!
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.
Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer SMACK! Anna:OW! Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna? Anna: Andy punched me! Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy? Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
While giving a physical, a doctor notices that his patient’s shins are covered in dark, savage bruises. ‘Tell me,’ says the doctor. ‘Do you play hockey or soccer?’ ‘No,’ said the man. ‘But my wife and I play bridge.’
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england? A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!