I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
The was a man named George who got a new job.
His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday.
They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning.
George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.
On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00.
He golfed right handed and won the round.
Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again.
He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round.
This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed.
The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was.
They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are.
Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win.
What is up with that?''
George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy.
Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife.
If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed.
If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.''
''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV?
A: The Dallas Cowboys.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england?
A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!
Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics?
Kyle: I haven't a clue.
Zeke: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!
What is the noisiest game?
Squash – because you can’t play it without raising a racquet!
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
Matthew: Why?
Peter: Because he broke the record!
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.
"I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team."
"I blame the players," said the
second fan. "If they made more of
an effort, we'd score some points."
"I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle,
I'd be supporting a decent team."
Vote:
A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report.
"Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!"
"OK, that's it, guys," Roger said.
"This is positively the last deal."