Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.