Joke #4008

I fell in love with my wife at second sight. The first time I didn’t know she had money.
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has 50.75 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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1st man: It is sickening the way my wife keps talking about her ex husband.. 2nd man: Than's nothing, mine keps talking about her next husband.
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has 60.97 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
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has 46.07 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, marriage, wife
One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa." Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died. A month later the father heard his sony saying prayers again: "God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grammy." The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father was getting more than a little woried about the whole situation. One week later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers. "God Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy." This nearly gave the father a heart attack. He didn’t say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic. He stayed all through lunch and dinner. Finally after midnight he went home. He was still alive! When he got home he appologised to his wife. "I am sorry Honey. I had a very bad day at work today." "You think you’ve had a bad day? YOU THINK YOU’VE HAD A BAD DAY!?" the wife yelled, "The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!"
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has 62.22 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: dad, god, marriage, work
My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?". I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
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has 85.13 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
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has 82.35 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: marriage
One day, a guy walks into a pub and orders a beer. His friend walks up and sees his red eyes and asks, "Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted". He replies,"Yeah, I heard about what happened in your house yesterday too. Tough." His friend says, "Yeah, I wish I could trust my wife a little more - wait... How did you know about that?" He says,"I was there" and continues chugging his beer.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: beer, communication, friendship, marriage, mean
A woman come to a doctor, with bumps and bruising all over her body. The woman complains that it was her husband, who beat her. Doctor tells in surprise: "I thought your husband was out of town." "So did I..."
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan when you're having sex? A: Let her catch you doing it.
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has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
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She has her husband eating out of the palm of her hand – it saves on the washing-up.
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage