Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
Once you pop, you just can't stop. Unless you're Chuck Norris.
Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
The reason why the desert is dry is because Chuck Norris got thirsty.