Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer? Nerdvana.
An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree. They all get out and discuss how to fix the car. The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’ The engineer says, ‘That would take too long. I have my penknife here. I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’ The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.
Virus "Windows" found: Delete, Repair, Next?