Double your drive space. Delete Windows!
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
What do computers eat when they get hungry? "Chips."
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out? A: Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.
What do Scientists have for snacks? Micro-chips.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb? It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.