Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds? She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
Q: Why are there no brunette jokes? A: Because blondes would have to think them up.
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat. The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde: "So, do you see any cops?" The blonde replies: "Yes!" The brunette says: "Are they behind us?" "Yes!" "Are they close?" "Yes!" "Are they going to stop us?" "I don't know!" "Well, are their lights on?" The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer? A: She fell in the sink.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer? There’s whiteout on the screen. How can you tell if two blondes have been using the computer? There’s writing on the whiteout.
A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes. When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"