Joke #4176

Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds? She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library." So the blonde whispers, "Oh sorry! can I have a diet coke then?"
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has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There were two blonds on their way to Disney World. When they were getting close there was a sign that read, “DISNEY WORLD LEFT,” So they turned around and went home.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, travel
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?  A: Artificial intelligence.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "What about the other ear and your hand?" "I tried to call for an ambulance."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat. The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde: "So, do you see any cops?" The blonde replies: "Yes!" The brunette says: "Are they behind us?" "Yes!" "Are they close?" "Yes!" "Are they going to stop us?" "I don't know!" "Well, are their lights on?" The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, work
A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing." At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well. Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?" The blonde said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
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has 85.33 % from 354 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two bums are sitting talking. The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever! This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground. So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever." The second bum just laughs, "That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks. You know what I did? I fucked her all day long." The other bum interrupts, "Bull! You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life." The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?" The other replies no. "How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?" To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
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has 20.71 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: black humor, blonde, death, sex
A blonde was sitting in economy class... on a flight from Seattle to Chicago.
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has 15.22 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, travel
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid