Joke #4183

Teacher: You boy, what’s your name? Boy: Mickey Jones. Teacher: We’ll call you Jones here. We don’t use first names. Boy: My dad won’t like that – he takes offence if people take the Mickey out of my name.

I don’t want to go to school,” said a son to his father. “Why not,” asked the father. “I don’t feel well.” “Where don’t you feel well,” the father asked. “At school!”

Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? Ted: What? Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day. “My son had the flu and can’t make it to school today,” he said. “Who is this speaking,” said the secretary. "This is my father!”

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?

Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven't done?" Mrs Roberts is shocked, "Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!" Little Johnny is relieved, "OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven't done my homework."

One day in class, the teacher says: "Joe, 'I read, you read' what tense is that?" "Simple Lost tense!"

Ms.Battle: Henry, I hope I didn't see you copying Casey's math test. Henry: I hope you didn't either.

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."

The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.