Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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Chuck Norris once drank a Red Bull and the can grew wings.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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