Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.