Joke #4199

Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men? You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.

A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."

Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."

Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.

A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. "Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed." Two days later her doorbell rings. "Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away." "What makes you think you are great in bed?" the woman retorts. Tim replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?"

"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"

Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!

On wedding night, during sex: Husband: I had a sex with so many callgirls so many time before. Wife: Thats what I have been thinking since we met that I have seen you somewhere before...