What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Basketball
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Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils.
One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field.
Julia approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said that she was.
Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself.
Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?'
The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion.
Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?'
'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'
Yo' Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she's back to her corner.
Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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The wife of a boxer wakes up because of the sounds that come from the dining room.
She wakes her husband up:
Rocky, I think someone wants a particular boxing lesson...
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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The Winter Olympics.
Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
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A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green.
But each time the ball splashes into the drink.
In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself."
The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing.
But I mean, 41 years, still alive.
I kinda got it.