Being poor has its advantages.
For example your keys are never in your other trousers.
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A old woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $3.95 for fast delivery or $2.30 for slower service.
“There is no hurry,” she told the clerk, “just so the package is delivered in my lifetime.”
He glanced at her and said, “That will be $3.95, please.”
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save company dollars.
One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray
travel expenses.
In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage.
Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.
The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million.
The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.
After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject.
They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect.
After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.
When the results of the French study were released, Canada decided to conduct their own study.
The Canucks didn't really trust British or French studies.
So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00, the Canadian study was complete.
They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead!
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure.
Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter?
Isn't half a million enough for you?
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Yo Momma is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.
"You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper.
"No, I'll buy the chocolate.
YOU give the money to charity!"
After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.