Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows? He wanted to be very clear!
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70? A: Because 69's a mouthful.
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son. FATHER: What's that? TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
The English teacher’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised.” She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, “No. I am surprised. You are astonished.”
"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!