Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard?
He didn't, his beard grew him.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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Chuck Norris protects his airbag in an accident.
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Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice.
This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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