Our house was so small if we got a large pizza we had to go outside to eat it.
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What kind of money do marsupials use?
Pocket change!
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?" asked the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
AA By his net income.
Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it!
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat?
A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news.
The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.”
The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.
The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.”
“No, you have to take it,” says the blonde.
“I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
My wife and I have a joint account.
I deposit money and she withdraws it.