Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light. He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.