‘Is your baby a boy or a girl?’
‘Of course.
What else could it be?’
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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.
Vote:
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis.
He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car".
The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening.
He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room.
"OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
Yo momma so ugly that she made all her blind kids cry.
Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.
My wife beamed at me with pride and said, "Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!"
I said, "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."
Vote:
When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...
"Where did you born?"
"At the hospital!"
"Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put a worm in a glass of water & another in a glass of whiskey.
The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up & d*ed.
"All right, son," Said Will, "what does that show you?"
"Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not have worms."