Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
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A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home.
In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?”
The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.”
“What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter.
“My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
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Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
A: Lefty.
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.
Suddenly, Lorraine died.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
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I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Two cannibals were having lunch.
"Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other.
"Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
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What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
Vitamin bills!
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What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
He ate himself.
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Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
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