James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Chuck Norris is an action verb.
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Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
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Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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Chuck Norris fell off a building, he got sued for breaking the sidewalk with his fists.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.
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