James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.