Joke #4460

He was so ugly when he was born they didn’t know whether to buy a cot or a cage.

How do Chinese people name their kids? Throw a spoon down the stairs. CHING CHANG CHONG TING.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."

‘Is your baby a boy or a girl?’ ‘Of course. What else could it be?’

A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"

Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.

I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.

Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!

There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."