My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered.
Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
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Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
What’s the difference between goats and women??
Goats are always horney.
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Vote:
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.