My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
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Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
Vote:
My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
Two men were talking about their wives.
First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
A dick has a sad life.
His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
She’s like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt!
So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Knock-Knock
Who is there?
A long penis with a naked head.
Come in please we were waiting for you.
Vote:
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!"
"Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive."
"I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?"
"Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are."
"I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!"
"Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"