What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin.
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, "Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear." The hunters go out and return with two bears. So the pilot says, "I told you ONE bear!" But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board. After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears. After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank. Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are. The pilot says, "About the same place where we crashed last year."
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head? Steer phones.
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''