What’s the difference between cats and dogs?
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
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Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up.
"Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What's the important part of a horse?
The manr part.
What's a rabbits favorite musical?
Hare.
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"
The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?
Just a phew.
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull?
Answer: Lipstick.
What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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