Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. ‘Hello,’ I thought. ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
Why do moths fly with their legs open? Cause they've got huge mothballs!
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef.
When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg." Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!