Jones aside. ‘You’re in perfect health,’ he says.
‘Your wife didn’t give me an erection, either.’
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Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?"
"Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?"
The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
Q: What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second?
A: First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom.
I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
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‘Doctor, I suffer from premature ejaculation.
Can you help me?!’
‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’
Why can’t gypsies have babies?
Because their husbands have crystal balls.
A man and wife were making love.
When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away.
Mom said "You better fix this now."
The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma.
The dad screamed "What the fuck."
The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder.
The drunk guy just ignores him.
After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down.
He notices that the alien has no genitalia.
He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?"
The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!
The wife is back on the warpath again.
I suggested that we make a little sex tape ...
she was up for it ...
until I suggested holding auditions.
I just don’t understand why she is so mad!